Sometimes I Feel Like Two Different Mothers

The one that I imagined and the one I actually am.

Sometimes I make perfect meals full of veggies and my kids eat them.

Sometimes I’m scrambling and we end up eating a mix of randoms from the fridge like string cheese and ketchup for dinner.

Sometimes I have cookies baked when they come home from school.

Sometimes I am cranky and tired and make them do chores and yell a whole bunch until somebody is crying.

Sometimes I am calm in the mornings before school and help them make their lunches.

Sometimes I’m grumpily barking orders and breathe a sigh of relief when they are finally out the door.

Sometimes I am flawlessly patient and calm as we navigate fights, homework, and music practice.

Other times I’m counting the seconds until bedtime.

Sometimes I listen intently to their long tales of their favorite TV show or video game.

Sometimes I zone out on my phone too much desperate for a break.

Sometimes I bend the rules when they smile coyly and melt my heart.

Other times I am rigid and firm and say no a lot.